Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Fasting day crash and burn

Sometimes I am a complete dork. Family and friends may exercise their right to hold back on the comments here. Today was supposed to be a fasting day, and, being that I'm sometimes a complete dork, I decided that I'd better do it even though I woke up feeling not so flash. And, when I say 'woke up', it was more like my eyes opened but my brain did not really ignite due to a severe lack of sleepage.. caused by a combination of sore back and sore throat and undoubtedly not helped by late night caffeination (which in itself was because I felt strangely lethargic yesterday).

Also, I was ravenous.

But.. being that I've found the practice of Eat-Stop-Eat to be easy so far, I persisted with my planned 20 hour fast and was surprised to be consistently distracted by a growling tummy and light-headedness, both of which have never bothered me before on a short fast. Of course I tried to 'suck it up' and keep myself going with strong coffee, like a French supermodel, but strangely enough it did not work for me. Early afternoon I caved in and inhaled a bowl of cereal, meat pie and custard tart before coming to my senses and realising that I should have learned by now that, when it comes to looking after a human body, one must be flexible. It would have been better for me to reschedule my fasting day and take note that I seem to be coming down with something, didn't sleep well and was feeling super-hungry. Funny thing is, after my calorie influx I did not feel hungry again all day and had a very light dinner. This is significant because this proves it was not a stress-driven binge. How does that work? Well, I'm sure all binge eaters will understand that a small binge doesn't really exist. It's not a binge if you eat then forget about it. Bingeing means you obssess. You think about what you ate and what you will eat either to a) continue the binge or b) to 'make up for it'. You hang out for the moment you can leave work and start eating again. So, none of that. Not a binge, just not a day when fasting was the best idea.

Then, I felt a bit better, so got into Workout A from the TT Feb '08 circuit program and will get an early night and hopefully feel revived tomorrow.
I have an appointment scheduled for next Tuesday to talk over my MRI results. Of course I'm finding it hard not to be paranoid. The waiting is excrutiating. Part of that is that I keep having nasty emotional flashbacks to when I was in the 'diagnosis' phase of my kidney problem which took 6 weeks. At that point I didn't know whether or not I had kidney cancer and the stress was quite intense. I have to keep reminding myself that this back issue is improving, not getting worse and therefore is probably not fatal or serious. But still, the waiting is difficult, even for a naturally patient person like myself. Friends and relatives may once again choose to hold forth, tempting though it may be.


  1. You're so in tune with yourself... and so, I don't know, sane? I wish I was the same way.

  2. Really good description of binge eating. Good for you for listening to your body.


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