Friday, September 21, 2007

peace, man...

I've just spent quite some time trying to get blogger play to work. It seems like something I could really waste a lot of time with. It shows you a vignette of images as bloggers upload them in real time. You can click on them and be taken to the blog. That's the theory.. I'm not getting any images. Is it working for anyone? I really want to play with it.

I'm feeling so remarkably zen about the whole weigh in, fatloss goal thing that I begin to wonder if I'm really myself *does a quick check.. yep, seems to still be me*. I just feel.. calm and positive. No emotion, no pressure and that is the way it should be. It's not saving the world, it's getting a bit of fat off me. I used to think that in order to be motivated I had to wind myself up, and that I should hang on grimly and firmly to some intense dissatisfaction with life as it is. My thought process was something like 'I can't allow myself to be calm and happy now because then I will lose my reason to change'. I lived a long time in a bad mood before I realised that it's actions that change reality, not consistently reminding myself how bad I have it and how much I dislike my current situation and myself. In fact, I now think that it's easier to deal with something if you face it without resistance and have some self-belief. This is especially true if your problem is emotional overeating. It's a mad cycle - unhappy, eat, unhappier, eat again. My weight this morning was 63kg, which is higher than I've been in quite a while, but I just recorded it and then completely forgot about it.. which is not usual after a scale scare. Today then proceeded as follows:

It is a rest day, no training and it's not a regular Friday because I'll be working tomorrow and can't stay up half the night as I usually do. Most Fridays I eat more than usual because of the extra waking hours, but today is just average. This morning I got out the non-stick frypan and started with a spinach and mushroom omlette (1 egg, 4 ews) and 20g feta cheese. You know what? I have a psychic ability with portion sizes. It's almost spooky. I can cut a 20g square of cheese and it is always exactly 20g if I have a moment of self doubt and have to weigh it. Also, if I'm cutting meat I can pretty accurately cut a 100g, 120g or 150g fillet. All those years of weighing out food have finally paid off with a useful skill. I should write a book on how to develop 'psychic portion control', that's got to be a new angle. Mid morning I ate some string cheese and an apple and then lunch was a Zoneperfect bar, which is a $4 chunk of delicious processed 40:30:30-ness with added vitamins made by EAS. If you ever wonder what is the difference between a $1.50 protein bar and a $4 one it will be the vitamin blend (you can see this on the ingredient list) and it's worth it to buy the pricier one. We all know that real food is the unrivalled source of bioavailable vitamins, but if you are going to eat something processed, get the fortified version. If you are eating less than 2000 calories a day it is very difficult to get the required levels of certain vitamins and minerals, particularly thiamin, calcium, folate and iron and this can leave you feeling less than perky. Now, where was I? Mid afternoon I munched a few jetlag miniquiches and a big salad which got me through to dinner, which was a large chicken breast done in a 'Capri' which is an idea I picked up from Ms Mordant Conceit. .. uh, and half a glass of wine. Right now I'm off to bed with another miniquiche in me. So that's all PN, except for the bar. Not a bad effort, perhaps A minus?


  1. The Blogger photo thingie worked for me the other was kind of fun, or would have been if I'd had more than 5 minutes to spend on it.

  2. You are ROCKING your 20-week challenge, missy. You've inspired me to RELAX. And boy do I need to JUST RELAX. I need to get to where you're at. I'll never be happy with myself if I make progress and then fall back to binging... progress and then binge. That seems to be the pattern as of late and I am SICK OF IT.

    Thanks for the blog plugs! :D

  3. I have my Free Meal tonight. Lately i've been surrounded by Free Meal Moderates and i know it's a positive influence, nudging me in the right direction and away from bingeing. But honestly i haven't really wanted to NOT binge and i have felt intimidated by these good influences.

    Then you wrote this: "it's easier to deal with something if you face it without resistance and have some self-belief."

    This is the sentence i needed to hear. It's great, thanks. I will write it down and carry it with me today.


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