Tuesday, May 01, 2007


I'll start with a pic of a really nice dinner I made a few days ago and then I'll tell you about my stooopid moment.

This is a 'soused' fish with sweet and sour veges. I will post the recipe tomorrow on the Sana site and put a link up. T'was really delish. I know fish is good for me but I have to work it hard to turn it into something that I like. Fish without good flavour just doesn't spin my wheels.

I've discovered something new about being a recovered binge eater/binge dieter. It's not really 'new' per se, but just something that I'm prone to forget as time goes by..... there is no 'on', no 'off' and no 'going on a diet'. Sometimes this sneaks up on me... like today for example. I've been feeling a bit stretched, not getting enough sleep and.. drinking rather a lot of coffee....ahem... Today I was feeling excessively on edge and in grave danger of saying some very unkind things to some people that were, admittedly, probably just asking for it. Somehow, in my stooooopid little diet brain, this translated into 'I've really got to cut the caffeine again'... and this became 'I'd might as well do a full detox', which became.. 'oh, ok, if I'm starting a detox tomorrow then I'd might as well have a croissant and a huge icecream for lunch. Note the level of self deception. It wasn't a diet but a 'detox', which sounds quite rational. I spent time planning it out, deciding would be allowed or not on my detox and, of course, had to stop by the coffee shop for a cake on the way home, just to read my journal and be sure I was fully prepped. After a hamburger 'with everything' for dinner I came to my senses and saw what was really going on. I'm just doing my usual old trick of trying to control my life by restricting my diet. I had a look through my journal and decided that actually my nutrition is really, really good. I do not need to detox, or overhaul. Training is great too. No need to make a quantum leap into perceived dietary perfection. What I did instead was address the real need. I called my sister to have a damn good bitch and moan about my concerns at the factory. My sister is the major shareholder of our business and together we basically reinvented my job and also I gave myself a day off work tomorrow to get my head together and get some sleep. When I return on Thursday I will be in full charge of the thing which is most pissing me off - production scheduling - and will be training the admin assistant to do the bulk of my time-wasting regulatory paperwork. Uh huh.. one day it should finally get through my brain that dieting and food control are not the answer to absolutely everything .....I know, it's a tough one to grasp!


  1. Nope, I'm pretty sure that you're never going to find it easy or natural - but you will keep having these "aha!" moments that pull you up and stop you from doing something silly. Come to think of it, maybe that's as good as it gets? Sounds fairly normal to me, anyway... but perhaps I'm not quite normal.

    - Shut UP! I can hear you thinking, you know!

    Hooray for a day off! I hope there will be sleeping in and general slothfulness.


  2. I am also finding this to be true in my life. I had a stressful string of events late last week and thought WELL, I really think I need to start counting calories again... just like that! I, too, came to my senses and didn't change a thing. I'm keeping on with my non-diet because I KNOW what will happen if I take 2 steps back. We ex-bingers/chronic dieters must be conscious of how easily we tend to slip back into our old ways. At least now we're recognizing it and stopping it before it starts. Enjoy your day off! Time to yourself is much more tasty than a giant slab of chocolate. Barely. ;)

  3. Yay Sara, congrats on the lightbulb moment and working out a good way to resolve the real issue.

    Have a great day off.


  4. Wow, that's amazing. It sounds great to go to the core of the issue and take action, instead of have all this subterfuge of diet create a smokescreen around the issues.

  5. Fantastic! The more you do what you really need, the more natural it will become (or so I hope for my own sake!)

  6. Oh, forgot - "soused" fish: is that a fish who's had a wee bit too much to drink?


  7. Heh.. I loved the name too!

    Gawd Kek, 'as normal as it gets'... :} maybe you are right! I think it's a bit weird that sitting down and playing with calories is my 'happy place', but then again.. I could do a lot worse!

    Maybe we all live in a little bit of beautiful disorder. ;)


I love to hear from you! Tell me what's in your brain, your heart or your dinner plate :D.