Friday, November 17, 2006

Uh oh.. it's that time again!

I have a weakness…. Whatever the thingy is in your head that causes substance addiction, mine is dialled in to caffeine. There comes a point, about three times a year where I have to admit that it’s all gone a bit too far again and I’d better quit for a while so that I can function in some other state than either of:
1. Foggy, fuzzy, cranky bitch from hell or
2. Wooooohooooooo I am the Invincible one!

I found the John Hopkins questionnaire for alcoholism on the net and decided to apply it to my caffeine problem. If you say ‘yes’ to two questions then you might be an alcoholic. Three ‘yes’s’ and you probably are one. More than three and you should go directly to rehab without passing go.

I substituted coffee for ‘drinking’ and failed nearly every question except ‘have you been institutionalised because of your drinking?’. For example…..

Do you lose time from work due to drinking? Y
Yes, if it’s a choice between being at work on time or having my morning coffee then I’ll just have to be late (it happened the other day – the queue was long, I was an hour late..)

Have you had financial difficulties as a result of drinking? No, but I do spend *tallies it up* … about $4000 a year on takeaway coffees (holy cow!). And yet I can’t seem to pay off my credit card…

Do you turn to inferior companions and environments when drinking? *snort* There's so much I could say here, but I'd better not.....

Do you want a drink the next morning? Hell, yes.

Has your efficiency decreased since drinking? Only between coffees.

Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business? Take caffeine infusions away from the whole management team and we’d might as well just close the doors and walk away. Sometimes we postpone a management meeting for 45 minutes so that the office assistant can drive to Starbucks.

Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble? Caffeine makes all troubles seem minor and manageable

I took myself off coffee yesterday afternoon and already I feel like I could kill! Luckily it’s a long weekend and by Monday I should be through the worst of it but it takes a good 10 days to feel properly perky. Apparently caffeine withdrawal is a real mental illness and I’m not responsible for my actions while in the grip of it. I wonder how much chocolate equals a cup of coffee?

5 comments:

  1. Uh-oh. Going cold turkey again, Sara? Ah, such strength of mind!

    I hope you're spending the weekend alone. For everybody's sake.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Why do I get the overwhelming urge to say:
    "Hi, my name's Sereyna and I'm a recovering caffeine-aholic. It's been 2 years since my last latte" ??!
    Honestly doll, it gets better and better and better without the magic bean juice, I had my 2 year "no coffee" anniversary on Melbourne Cup day, and celebrated with a champagne *mmm.. idly wonders if one addiction has been replaced with another??!!*

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm not deluded enough to say that this will last for years! Sereyna, you are an inspiration. I'm sure I'll be going through it again in 6 months.. or maybe I'll take you on as a sponsor and stick with it. Do I have to admit my powerlessness and hand over to a higher power?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sheesh, I just quit drinking. The thought of giving up coffee and tea makes me go all twitchy-like. Best of luck to you! That feeling of caffeine soaring through your system when you DO finally have your next cuppa joe will be amazing. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've actually been contemplating having the odd coffee again recently. Just for the social thing. I meet up with girlfriends for a drink occasionally, and I really hate paying for cups of tea! :-)
    I'm too nervous to though, I think I'd be bouncing off the walls for a week!
    Let us know how you went over the weekend!

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear from you! Tell me what's in your brain, your heart or your dinner plate :D.